Facebook is exceptional at keeping us connected to people wed otherwise lose touch with. Its equally adept at helping us stay involved in the lives of our family, friends and professional contacts. Theres an art to picking and choosing who sees what, though just because we can share everything with everybody doesnt mean we should.
Theres a side of you that you present to the people you work with. Protecting both your privacy and your reputation means filtering what you let your managers, co-workers, partners and clients see. The Facebook restricted list lets you control who sees what, and additional privacy settings also let you manage what you see of everyone elses.
Before we get into it, remember this: nothing that you post online is ever truly private, even if youre diligent about your privacy settings. Whether its a fluke that exposes your protected posts, a hacker who gets into your account or a screenshot someone passes along, your content can get out to the public. If what you post is career- or relationship-ending, it may not be worth it.
What is the Facebook Restricted List?
When you add someone to the Facebook restricted list, you remain friends with them while limiting the posts theyre able to see. They will only see your posts if youve set the audience to Public [indicated by the globe icon], if theyre tagged in it or if a mutual friend tags both of you in the post. They will not know that theyre on your restricted list. You will still be able to chat with them via Messenger and youll see their posts in your News Feed as normal.
Lets say you dont want your supervisor to see everything you post on Facebook, so you add him to your restricted list. The next time you post, you select the Friends audience. Your supervisor will not be able to see the post it wont show up in his News Feed and he wont be able to see it if he goes directly to your profile. However, if you choose a Public audience or you tag your supervisor in the post, he will be able to see it even though hes on your restricted list.
There are all sorts of connections you may want to add to the Facebook restricted list:
- Connections you dont have an investment in but who you dont want to harshly unfriend
- Judgmental or nosy family members or friends [and their friends]
- People youve friended but dont know very well or at all
- Workplace connections, including your closest work pals who still shouldnt know everything about you
Adding People to the Facebook Restricted List
Heres how to add people to the Facebook restricted list on an iPhone:
- Go to the persons profile
- Click the friends icon under their profile photo
- Choose Friends
- Select Edit Friend Lists
- Click Restricted
The process is similar on a browser:
- Go to the persons profile
- Hover over the Friends button
- Click Add to another list
- Choose Restricted
To remove a friend from the restricted list, go through the same steps and just de-select Restricted.
How to Tell if Youre on Someones Facebook Restricted List
Wondering if you made it onto someones restricted list? There are a few ways to figure it out [if you care enough to] aside from asking them point-blank.
- If theres empty space at the top of their profile, it could be due to a gap between public and private posts. Since you cant see the private posts, there may be a gap there if their latest post is set to private.
- Browse their posts to see if all of them are set to public. If they are, that could mean that youre only seeing their public posts [and not their private ones]. However, it could also mean that they post everything publicly.
- Have a mutual friend look at the profile and compare what you see.
More Ways to Manage Your Facebook Connections
Change Who Sees All Past Posts
If youve given your Facebook a privacy overhaul and you want to make sure your past posts arent seen by everyone and anyone, you can limit their visibility. This will automatically set all of your past posts to Friends, indicated by the icon with two people. People tagged in the posts will still be able to see them. Heres how to do it on an iPhone:
- Go to your profile
- Click the settings gear
- Choose View Privacy Shortcuts
- Select See more privacy settings
- Click Limit who can see past posts
- Choose Limit Past Posts
- Confirm by clicking Limit Past Posts in the pop-up
Heres how to do it on a browser:
- Click the downward arrow on the top right of Facebook
- Choose Settings
- Select Privacy on the left
- Click Limit Past Posts on the right
- Choose the Limit Past Posts button
- Confirm by clicking Limit Past Posts again
Edit the Privacy of a Specific Past Post
If you only want to change the privacy of a single past post, heres how to do it on an iPhone:
- Go to the post
- Click the three dots on the top right
- Choose Edit Privacy
- Select your privacy setting
The process is similar on a browser. You just go to the post, hover over the privacy setting and then select the setting you want. You can also choose the Friends except option to block certain people or lists from seeing what you post [you can do this when creating a post, too].
Change Who Sees Future Posts
The easiest way to change who will see your future Facebook posts by default is through the browser. On your iPhone, you have to actually post something in order for the change to take effect. This just sets the default; you can still change the visibility for a specific post by clicking the dropdown when creating the post.
- Click the downward arrow on the top right of Facebook
- Choose Settings
- Select Privacy on the left
- Click Edit next to Who can see your future posts?
- Choose your preferred setting
Take Advantage of the Standard Facebook Lists
In addition to the Facebook restricted list, Facebook also has a Close Friends list and an Acquaintances list. Adding people to these lists can help you control what you see in your News Feed. You can also set your posts to be hidden from people on these lists.
The Close Friends list is for people whose posts you want to see more of, while the Acquaintances list is for people whose posts you want to see less of. By going to an acquaintances profile, you can see everything theyve posted, including the posts that didnt show up in your feed.
Create a Custom List
Facebook auto-creates a few lists for you, like people you went to school with. If the ready-made Facebook lists arent quite cutting it, though, you can create your own custom friends list. With a custom list, you can better micro-manage who sees what.
- Log into Facebook from a computer
- Under Explore on the left, click Friend Lists
- Click Create List on the top
- Give your list a name and add people
Creating multiple friend lists helps when selecting who can and cannot see what you post, but it also gives you the option to filter what you see. By going to Explore and then Friend Lists, you can select the list you want and then view all of their recent posts in a News Feed.
Unfollow Someone to Stop Seeing Their Posts
If you want to stay connected on Facebook without unfriending someone, you can unfollow people on Facebook so their posts stop popping up in your feed. On an iPhone, go to the persons profile and click the Friends icon under their profile photo. Click Unfollow in the pop-up.
On a browser, go to their profile and hover over Following. Click Unfollow [Name] on the bottom.
Manage What You See in Your News Feed
You can customize what you see in your News Feed in a few ways. On your browser, click the three dots to the right of News Feed on the left. On an iPhone, click the three lines on the bottom right, click Settings and Privacy, click Settings and then scroll down to News Feed Settings and click News Feed Preferences. Youll get several options to choose from. These three are the most useful:
- If you click Prioritize who to see first, youll be able to scroll through your connections and choose people to add. [This is different from adding people to the Close Friends list.]
- Youll get the same type of list to choose from if you click Unfollow people and groups to hide their posts.
- A nice feature is the Reconnect with people and groups you unfollowed option, which is useful if your networking priorities change or you decide to get back in touch with friends youve neglected.
Even More Privacy Settings
There are a number of other privacy settings that can help you manage your Facebook account. You can find these under privacy settings and Timeline and Tagging settings. Control things like:
- If people can find you with your email address
- Who can send you friend requests
- Who can see the people you follow and your connections
- If people can post to your timeline or tag you
- If people can share your posts to Stories
When you feel strongly about not being visible or available to someone, consider blocking them you wont appear in their search results, they wont be able to see anything on your profile and they wont be able to contact you in Messenger.
How to Prune Your Facebook Connections
If you have hundreds or thousands of friends, itll take hours to comb through them to unfriend, unfollow or add them to the correct list, and you may still miss some. Once youve gone through everyone you work with to ensure theyre not seeing certain content, take a more organic approach with the rest of your list. Make a point to check Facebook every day and look at birthday announcements, then make privacy changes to just those people. After a year, youll have updated everyone on your list.
Think Before You Unfriend
Its not possible to unfriend multiple contacts at once, so you have to consider each and every person you unfriend and even though disconnecting will cut down your contacts list, it could leave people with hurt feelings. People dont get notified when you unfriend them, but they will notice that theyre no longer connected with you if they go to your profile.
A random acquaintance who youve never met or talked to in real life is probably safe to unfriend without any repercussions, but people youve known for a long time, even if communication has been non-existent in recent years, may get insulted. To keep the peace and avoid burning a bridge, unfollowing a person and adding them to your Acquaintances or Restricted list may be a kinder, less dramatic choice.
Wrapping Up
The larger your Facebook network, the more your privacy is up for grabs, and the safest option is to never post something that you wouldnt be okay with everyone seeing. Since you want to use Facebook to express yourself, though, put thought into which individuals and lists can see certain types of content every time you post. Youll communicate with your most important connections without having your privacy invaded.
Have you found any clever ways to make Facebook work for you and expertly manage your connections? Tell me about it in the comments!
Featured image via Vadym Nechyporenko / shutterstock.com